This Bitch (Original)

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Finished Poems

The bitch i can't stand stood in front of my house like we were best friends;
With the fake smile, fake boobs, and fake personality;
She's like a coin, but not worth the money;
Just two-faced, and not worth your time;
She's to busy with a dick in her mouth, to stand up for herself and her whoreness;
I guess that's just how all ya'll fake sluts act now days;
To busy blowing to start showing your fear of what could really happen.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The modified version is under the title The Bitch.

View daddysbrat27's Full Portfolio
AquarianMale's picture

  THE BITCH    This bitch I

 

THE BITCH 

 

This bitch I can't stand stood in front of my house like we were best friends;

 

With a fake smile, fake laugh, fake boobs, and fake personality;

 

She's like a grimy, dirty coin, and not worth my flipping off;

 

Just two-faced, with no monetary value, and certainly not worth my time;

 

She's too busy with a dick in her mouth to stand up for the whore she is.

 

I guess that's just how all ya'll fake sluts act nowadays;

 

Too busy blowing to start showing your fear of what could really happen

 

If  ---- (add another line here?)

 

Hope I do not piss you off with my suggestions; after all, it is your poem. Funny, your Portfolio says (your words) that you are "aggressive" and "argumentive." WOW, I am not sure if I should fear you, or cry for the girl you are writing about in this piece? I can only pray you do not get mad at me someday. Nothing worse than the wrath of a woman scorned. At any rate, one can feel the intensity of emotions in what you originally wrote. That is rare in many poems. I guess all I can say is that this poem was short, right to the point, and very, very bitchy. I liked it. Not really vulgar per-se, just the way you feel. You get-um girl! Love your fire.  

 

daddysbrat27's picture

I'll keep my original poem

I'll keep my original poem but change the title. I'll also put your suggestions as a seperate poem saying it was modified by you. I'd feel bad if I just took your suggestions and took all the credit for the poem.


The Girl you wish you had.Innocent