"The Ruined"

by Jeph Johnson


I left a new lover

on the side of the road

She'd worked harder to bear

your burdensome load


True love cast aside

along the wide interstate

I can't invest in her love

by bankrolling your hate


For her I don't hunger

half as much as for you

For it's fully  your fault

I can't continue


Utopian yearnings

of our yesterday worn out

Sunlight sank beyond

the shadows of my doubt


The real reason this isn't

what I'm looking for

Is she deserves my love 

a thousand times more


The love I tried to give her

cannot be renewed

I have none left for her

because I gave all to you


Unless the victim's conviction

is resigned and contrite

Love's lost in illusion

and far from finite


I've taken on guilt

and felt fractured shame

I am the victim

yet the victim's to blame


I'd be a much better person

if I wasn't so honest

even love her in return

if your love I was promised




Author's Notes/Comments: 

2017 (early version of "Blame the Victim")

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