Author Information
Face Reader
Setup: Park bench off-center stage left
*Lights Off*
-Actors walking, running. Making different paced stepping sounds.
-Actors talking quietly amongst themselves. Except for given lines to be spoken loudly as part of conversations.
Actor 1: “Did you hear about Kevin and Morgan?”
Actor 2: “Holy shit she was fine!”
Actor 3: “No I don’t think he’ll ever change!”
Actor 4: “Two chicks at one time, no fucking way!”
Actor 5: “If he really loved you, he wouldn’t make you.”
-Actors continue to walk past, silent.
*Spotlight brightens onto Charlie*
-Charlie walks on stage, turns upstage, turns downstage, drops a book, stumbles as if being hit from the side while picking it up, narrows shoulders and walks towards bench.
-Voice Over-
Charlie: “Ugh it’s only fourth. Note to self: thank mother for being too cheap to buy lunch! How is this a small town? Twenty years ago was there an entertainment shortage that lead to a fornication frenzy which produced this massive amount of sexually confused teenagers? On the bright side, I could be watching massive amounts of overall-clad, semi-related youth, run from class to class. I think it’s better that there are more than three last names on the school roster, and some of the ones here are relatively good looking, although they’ll probably screw anything that breathes. Either way that doesn’t change no matter where you are! At least I got away from Sam. We were just a mess. For a long time I thought I loved. All the fighting just wasn’t right. You should just lock eyes at the same time and it’s like everything in the room freezes and you both know that you’re meant to....”
Jake sits down on the other side of the bench.
- Jake is keen, while Charlie acts disinterested but eventually participates in the conversation-
Jake: “Is this seat taken?”
Charlie: “Did it matter?”
Jake: “Really, no.”
Charlie: “I didn’t think so.”
Jake: “Hi I’m Jake.”
Charlie: “I’m Charlie.”
Jake: “I know you’re in my second period class.”
Charlie: “Am I?”
Jake: “Yes.”
Charlie: “Oh well, um, I didn’t know.”
Jake: “That’s okay, I sit in the back.”
Charlie: “Me too!”
Jake: “I know.”
Charlie: “I’m really a red-head, I bet you didn’t know that.”
Jake: “No you’re not.”
Charlie: “I know. Wait…how did you know?”
Jake: “I’m phsycic.”
Charlie: “Are you?”
Jake: “No…but wouldn’t it be cool? I hope that it would be like a comic-book thought bubble that pops up above someone’s head. I’d be like: ‘do you find me attractive?’, and she’d say ‘you’re cute’, but the thought bubble would pop up, and I could read: ‘shit, I find you absolutely repulsive…lie, lie, lie!’ And then I’d always know. I probably wouldn’t even have to ask. I always think other things than I’m saying. Do you ever do that?”
-Charlies voice over- “Do you ever shut up?”
Jake: “There you just thought something!”
Charlie: “What? How’d you know?”
Jake: “Because I read it in the bubble above your head.”
-Charlie hits Jake
Charlie: “Seriously, how’d you know that?”
Jake: “Okay. I do this thing where I try to read people. Don’t look at me like that let me explain. Everything a person says can be read on their face, especially when you’ve never met that person before. See I asked you a question, and then you paused but you didn’t answer anything.”
Charlie: “Well you didn’t give me a chance to. You jumped all over me!”
Jake: “I was just pointing it out.”
Charlie: “So how come I can’t read what you’re thinking.”
Jake: “Because I have mastered the art of poker fache.”
Charlie: “Fache?”
Jake: “Yeah, well face is spelt F-A-C-E, but someone just reading English might not know that the C is said like an S, and they’d say ‘fachay’. So I started saying fachay but that became annoying so I shortened it to fache.”
-Charlie laughs hard and opens her eyes and looks directly at Jake. Actors abruptly stop walking and stare at the pair. Jake looks at Charlie and they smile and look away quickly.
Charlie: “Ha, that’s brilliant! Can I use it?
-Actors resume walking-
Jake: “Only if you give me your number.”
Charlie: “Okay, I can do that. But this is top secret information, if this gets out, our plans will be foiled.”
-Pulls out a pen and writes down her phone number, while trying hard not to smile…but fails-
Jake: “You like me.”
Charlie: “Oh did my bubble give it away?”
Jake: “No your fache did.”
-Jake slowly grabs Charlie’s hand.
*Lights Fade Out*
