Whimsical Thoughts

Never have I experienced the pure bliss of seeing nature's all natural beauty, I have not been able to process the scenery, the simplicity of what stands before me. I have always been indulged in myself never really paying attention to the things that are so simplistic, the things are so unbelievably beautiful that it almost makes you break down and cry. The fact that after all these wasted years, all these self developments that I have done to myself, I never stopped and looked. I never looked at everything that makes you feel so happy that it is actually a physical experience of light, burning you in a most enjoyable sense. It kind of makes your skin tingle a little bit, just knowing that this was here all along and it had never changed, I went through various changes both mentally and physically that have changed me into the person that I am proud to be today, one who thinks with a clear mind, not judging one by anything other then their beliefs and intentions in life. I have changed from a happy little kid, to a rambunctious pre-teenager, to a struggling teenager, to what I am. I have yet to feel the wisdom of age yet, but I have gathered the essentials. My life is extremely hard, while others are going to get jobs so they can save up for something they seriously want, I am earning my ass off for the things I need, like for instance food and water. I will probably not go to college for a very long time, and it makes me sour at times to know that, and the fact all my friends are going on so far ahead of me and I'm still suck in the same spot doesn't help but for some reason I just don't really let it get to me anymore. I know I could be doing so much more in life but for now, just looking outside seeing the breeze taking the autumn leaves off those enormous trees gives me some degree of tranquility. I could sit here, drinking coffee and smiling at everything that could become of me, all the possibilities I have, my potential is outstanding. I was always lucky when it came to school, I was always a quick learner, and math always came naturally to me. Athletics are one of the things I enjoy most, and I'm very competitive so it always offers my friends a challenge. I don't know what I am or where I'm going from here, but I love my friends, I love my family and nothing could possibly be better then just living my life. I do dare say this is probably the most happy I've been in awhile... when looking at my previous poems I notice that I've come along quite a way. There are still many untold stories and stories to come but right now I don't care. I am just loving life, I want to start going out with those friends I don't see, some I haven't seen in months, a few I haven't seen in a year or two. I don't really have the time to do it, but life is short and I'm tired of waiting for the 'perfect' time, because if I'm with them, it can't be any more perfect then that. I just want them to know I miss those times we had, some very quaint and secretive, others just plain out random, all of them, unforgettable. My memories are here with me, every last one of them. I lost quite a bit of them a while ago, but slowly, in somewhat exuberant flashbacks I have began to understand them piece by piece. I think my life is pretty good, there are some troubles but I'll get through them because my will and mind are as strong as ever. I am not crushed under the pressure anymore; I am truly stronger and can withstand the problems of others, along with the problems of my own. I can't wait until the coming weeks, I'm sure there is going to be a whole new look to life.

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