So she cries there every night, same place. In the side of the bedroom where the dark hits the orange sun painted on her wall, where she remembered being a kid, one that loved to spend time with her loving family and the friends around the neighborhood. She sits in the corner crying so hard that she hopes to start crying out her blood until she dies. She is so lonely, so unhappy and so... dead. She has nothing left inside, just a brain that makes her cry the same cry every night until 4 in the morning. She looks at that happy time her grandmother taught her to make her special banana bread to please all of her family at a young age, and the time her friends went to the park and ridden the best roller coaster they ever had. She just wants to redo it; she wants to train her body to be super model like in portion. She doesn't want to be the obese, sad girl that she is right now. She wants to be amazing... no more whoring herself out just to a get a boy close to her... no making up stories to get people to like her. She wants to be liked for those wonderful writings she has on the wall, those amazing perspectives on life she had tucked away at the back of her mind. She is beautiful the way she is, no matter what the other people say... she deserves the best life can deliver, but in the world of insolence, what can she do, the beautiful are given everything on a silver platter and the unattractive work to the hand and bone to earn measly dollars. She will be ignored and shunned away; if she aspires to philosophy, other girls like her will find her words when they feel as sad as they do, while the beautiful ones get all the coverage as celebrities. When she dies, people will barely recognize the name in the obituaries while everyone will see the name of the celebrity on the front page. No dignity, no respect, and no love for her. She makes money but no one knows her, the recognition will never get its just desserts; she is amazing at everything she does. Alas, no one would remember her she is a fading print on a long-lost newspaper someone shoved in the garbage can. She foreshadows enough of her future and continues crying by the sun, she starts getting angry at everyone now... her mother no one would understand how horrible it is to be her mother, imagine your surprise when one day you're beautiful little girl comes home crying and running into your arms telling you that she ugly, that she should die and that no one can ever love her. Hearing those words come out of your precious daughter's mouth. Imagine the anger that begins to burrow under your mind hidden under the sadness of the situation. The anger she has for the lack of tolerance for other people. How she tried to confront the husband yet again, only to have him come staggering drunk as usual and slap the shit out of her. That's what her mother endured because of her, because of her being the biggest mistake of his life. She thinks life would be better off without her... so the world now will never know what would be... her.

View cozzy20000's Full Portfolio
Bryan Adam Tomimbang's picture

It's hard for one to search for acceptance in a world of insolence. And because of it we run to problems that, in some ways, makes us powerless. This piece was truly descriptive. Makes you think of how the world is a truly ugly world even when there are impressions of perfection, false impressions that is. Besides, I've been in that scenario too. Great write.