Wrap me in chains

Funny Poems

Wrap me in chains. Clad me in leather

Run the lawnmower over my hair

Beat me as I do the dishes

With the whipper-snipper!

Tie me up with the sheets to the bed

Smother me with a pillow

Cut me with knives and forks

Drag me across the lounge-room floor

By my hair as I suck up the dirt

With the vacuum cleaner

Pin me to the wall with your Toyota

Steal MY T.V. remote

Let me hear the sound of one hand slapping

Drink your beer while we make love

But just DON'T call me fat.

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