If Suicide Was An Option

In our childhood home 

You will open the door to the bathroom 

the light isn’t the blinding fluorescent your used to

This time its a softer yellow and the bulb doesn’t flicker anymore; 

Even though mom kept putting off buying a new one. 

You may not notice but, what does draw your eye is the notes tapped to the mirror 

Hundreds scattered and loosely taped onto the walls

They will cover your reflection entirely 

And you will finally see 

Thanks to the illumination of sunlight through the shower window 

bright red sharpie, on lined school paper and my handwriting  

You can read all the things I couldn't will myself

To tell anyone 

Even you 


And I’ll arrange them in that same style  

I used to do with photos I tacked on my bedroom walls 

That made your eyes look so adrift in the waves of faces.  

And you’ll be too distracted in the wonder, you won’t notice your wet feet 

And the slumped body leaning over the bathtub rim  

Maybe you'll never see me like this and that's probably for the best 

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uninvited_1's picture

chilling

those last 2 lines were the most gripping part of the poem. Very well crafted work here. Feel free to check out my work if you get a chance.