Why Didn't I?

Folder: 
CHRIS

I met this wonderful person

This handsome, sweet guy

Whom wanted me just as much

As I wanted him

But he also wanted

One..two...

Three...four...

Others

Why didn't I let him go?

Because I thought I was in love

Maybe I was blinded by that fact

I'll never be quite sure

We grew apart somehow

Me and this wonderful person

And I ran, crying and torn

My heart, jagged and broken

Straight into the arms of another

Wonderful, handsome, and sweet guy

I cried for hours upon his shoulders

In his soft embrace

I felt safer than I ever had

Once my tears had stopped

My eyes opened and saw this guy

Looked straight into his eyes

I saw his soul, his beautiful mind

And I fell again

Farther than last

But with one minor exception

I was truly in love

I wanted nothing else but for him to be by me

Never leave me

Hold me always

But he...was involved with another

Another whom I knew very well

My best friend

So I graciously stepped aside,

Kneeling I begged her to push me aside

And continue with their lives

She kept pulling me towards him

Again and again

I pushed her away, back to my knees

I told her, go on and be happy

But she knew I was hurting

She finally pulled me up by the scruff of my neck

And threw me back with him

Walking away, she baid us farewell

And my link with him grew

Telling myself I knew my friend would be back

And take him away, not to get attached

I did anyway

And he...wanted another like before

It felt like the first time again

I wept and fled

My heart was torn open once again

The edges even sharper than before

The wounds were ripped open and bled

Onto the cold, white marble floor

I bled and bled

Sobbing and wondering

Why didn't I leave him?

I am in love with him

I never want to live my life alone again

I want him by my side always

He's the one for me

I'm the one for him

Why didn't I tell him off?

Why didn't I hurt him?

*shrug and smirks*

Whoever said I didn't?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

About Alex and Chris...the best I can do in the condition I'm in.

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Moth's picture

Oh.. my GOD.

I read this and almost started crying, because I am going through the EXACT same thing:

"I met this wonderful person
This handsome, sweet guy
Whom wanted me just as much
As I wanted him
But he also wanted
One..two... (i wish i could bold this...)
Three...four...
Others
Why didn't I let him go?
Because I thought I was in love
Maybe I was blinded by that fact
I'll never be quite sure
We grew apart somehow
Me and this wonderful person"

That. THAT actually brought tears to my eyes because it's happening to me, but I'm too "in love" to walk away. It's so.. hard. But hey, please know you're not the only one who feels this. I'm so glad you wrote this, but I can imagine (and almost feel) how horrible this is, because it is. It hurts, it tears, it breaks. I can't hate because I love too much. Then again, I feel so angry and hurt and betrayed.

I hope everything, everything works out for you, though. I hope nothing (anything else) of harm comes to you. Beautiful poem.. It captured everything in my heart. =D

Empathetically,

Moth