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No One Understands
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DESPAIR I sit here
Locked in my room
As I pick away at myself
And feel nothing
I just keep pulling and tearing
Until finally
The episode passes
And I'm left in tears
To realize what I've done
I stare at the mirror
Into this girl's face whom I don't know
The face used to be mine
Now it's not
I'm even uglier than
The last time I gave in to my episode
My medication has gone
I used the last pill 2 days ago
That's how insane I am
I can't go 2 days without my pills
Or I'll start ripping myself apart
My spirit has long since shattered
And my tolleration for pain
Is unlimited
No one else could understand
The pain and ugliness I hide
Under the makeup and clips
No one understands
You think your life is Hell
Well my life
Is Hell desguised as Heaven
Everyday I wish I was you
That I looked perfect like you
Even if you have your problems
At least you're not ugly like me
At least you don't tear youself apart
At least you don't pity yourself
If I can get rid of my disease
Maybe then I can grow
Maybe even heal
And start looking beautiful again
You still don't understand
Words won't show you
Won't let you FEEL this
I wouldn't want you to
It's something I wouldn't want
Anyone else to have to go through
And the worst of it is...
I have only two supporters
And even they don't understand
But they really try to
But I may be down to just one supporter...
My Dad and my friend Chris
But Chris...
Doesn't want anything to do with me
But my Dad will never leave me
I pray he never does
Cause if Heaven claims his soul...
I will die.
I will snap.
Go mental.
And then...
No one will be able to stop me
My will isn't strong enough
So my father is the crutches I stand on
I love my Daddy
I love everything he is
Including his faults
And the same is true for Chris
I just pray he'll reconsider
I need all the help I can get
Even if they can't understand
That's okay
Because...
No one else understands, either.
hey ur not alone i pull my hair out too lol and i used to cut myself u think ur a mess lol how bout me trust me theres lots of people out there that understand you lol um ur poem was really good at the beginning, very poetic and full of feeling but as the poem went on it lost its poeticity and kinda turned into a story about u instead a POEM that TELLS a story about you. I know this sounds like its not a big issue but i've been reading and writing poetry a long time, trust me this is - try not to name the people that you are talking about - if you name the person it kind of takes away the effect it is having on the reader - the reader is trying to feel your poem and apply it to themselves but since your reader doesnt know Chris it takes away the possibility of application. I think if you tried to take away just a little bit of the exessive unimportant and unpoetic words, your poems would be amazing
Hey Dita that made me want to cry. I love you so much and I'm always here for you no matter what. We both know what it's like to do that stuff. I love you Dita and I don't want to see you hurt. I will ALWAYS be here for you no matter what. Love you.
I will do everything in my power to help you lately it has been getting better you do it less I think what comes next is R. She needs to be dealt with too but that is for you to decide if and when.