Early Retirement

i can't seem to get it straight,

all the words in my head,

floating like sippable sundaes.

i'm working and going,

i'm fighting and i'm trying,

so why am i the first to die?

part of me is always hating,

the other, is always loving.

makes for an uncovienent life.

i'm too tired to argue,

but i'll scream my lungs dry.

why must everyone be so happy?

i feel so left alone,

but that was my wish wasn't it?

i asked for time away,

yes, i asked for my misery.

but does it extend to today?

silly, yeah i know,

but i feel so lonely inside,

one half of a kiwi,

missing the other.

why me?

does it have to be this way?

i'm out of excuses,

i'm out of reasons,

i'm out of diseases,

i'm out of thoughts.

i'm out of reality.

i'm out of so much.

can't i take a vacation, just a temperary one,

one where i float away but my body works.

one where i can kiss the stars and swing on saturn.

one where i can swimming through the milkyway,

or crash into the arctic ocean.

a simple vacation without actually leaving.

i'm ready to retire.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i'm sooooo tired... can't believe that i haven't written in sooo long... i apologize... honestly!

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