TWO SIDES OF ME

she looks at me with deception,

mystery clouded in her eyes.

she falls when i'm not with her,

but when i am, a part of her dies.

she can't leave me be,

and i doubt she would even try.

she is always so emotional.

but she refuses sometimes to cry.

how can i make this girl see,

the things that she can do?

she hates when i lecture her,

she hates when i say "i love you."

why is she such a pain?!

why doesn't she see!?

why can't she just shut up,

please just let this be!

i don't love you anymore.

you just too complicated.

just get the hell away from me.

i need to be sedated.

when she is near me,

i can feel the fury rise.

she pulls and tugs at me,

she is a big surprise...

why can't she just disappear,

things would be so much easier,

her stupid silly personality,

is such a disaster....





i can't stand the way she complains about me.

like she is miss perfect.

she acts like i'm ditzy chick,

that she is heaven-sent.

sure i'm clumsy and i'm silly,

but she is obnoxious in her own way too,

i can't believe she would hate me,

i just want to say "I HATE YOU!"

she is serious and silent,

her mystery is intregue

she forgets to use emotions.

her logic takes over everything.

she hates me when i comfort her,

she pushes me away when i try to help,

as if i don't have enough of my own problems!!

my cards have just been delt!

she can take her little royal attitude,

i'll keep my emotional views,

because i'm happy being who i am,

instead of being used.





she thinks that i'm a stuck up bitch,

so cold and hard as ice.

well maybe she is so annoying,

being fake and being too nice.

people walk all over her,

she doesn't seem to see,

that when i'm being a so called bitch,

i'm trying to take care of her AND ME!

why can't she just accept that,

i'm playing mom this time,

i watch over her so much,

she could be considered mine.





she fights me on issues,

and she fights when we laugh,

i can't seem to please her wish,

i'll only ever be half.

i make jokes to see her smile,

and to show others that she's cool.

so maybe she should lighten up,

she'd get the jokes more often too!





i'm sick of always fighting with her,

she breaks down and she cries.

her sobs of anger and frustration,

it breaks my heart and then i die.

can't she understand i worry,

because no one likes her cheer.

people hate her because she is obnoxious,

no one wants her here.

but how do i make her see this?

how do i show her the truth?

how can i let her down easily?

without hurting myself too?





no one likes her seriousness.

they all think she is stuck up.

they think she is lecturing everyone.

i want to yell ,"ENOuGH!"

she complains about things out of her control,

and expects them all to change.

her goals are always unatainable,

they say she is deranged.





all in all i love her,

she is all that i have....





but sometimes i can't stand being a part of her,

it often gets real bad....





i wish there was some way,

to seperate us into two.





that way there would only be,

no longer a we, but me, just me and you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

he tells me i'm immature sometimes, and i tell him he is too grown up, but i know that i'm just a crazy kid, with a life that is fucked up. so i hope he knows that i'm shutting down, and i'm ready to let go. because if he doesn't see these things... well, then there are things he'll never know... goodbye. for along time.

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