That Song I Hear Calling Me

i wanted to write a song.

something to show how i feel.

a promise that is precious.

something so damn real.

but i couldn't write it!

i could feel anything at all!

i tried so hard to write!

but i stumble and i fall.

i sat there in the dirt.

my knees all scraped and bleeding too.

i waited for an answer.

i waited there for you!

huddled up in a ball.

i cried till no tears came.

my trying was a failure.

once again, it was the same.

the dust and mud from the ground.

caked against my skin.

i felt like an idiot.

shame boiled deep within.

i'll lock everyone out!

forget them all with hate!

no one will ever get the chance!

my heart, no one shall take!

and that was my promise.

among my precious lies.

with no one there to guide me.

i buried all my cries.


one day i got into a fight.

with the ones who called me family.

i was sick of this useless crap.

forget stupid destiny.

but as much as i tried to hide,

i could not keep it within.

the emotions finally boiled over,

what a mess i was left in.

my enemy and rival,

the one whom i could not stand,

saw me in my worst state,

he bent over and lent me his hand.

he didn't notice my puffy eyes,

nor my bright red face.

he didn't care that i hated him,

not even that i was stuck in place.

i watched myself fight,

whether or not to take hold.

i looked into his eyes.

all brown, glistening with gold.

then something happened.

i broke, something was free.

no longer was i trapted inside,

now i had control of me.

at that moment i began again,

this time it was easy.

i wrote that song i wanted to,

and it now had meaning.

i sang it all day long,

and i sing it still right now.

but i'm scared to think it all changed.

i don't even know how.


i tried to write a song,

and found it didn't work.

i feel onto the ground,

my clothes all cloaked in dirt.

a hand reached out to me,

and i placed mine right in it.

this moment broke me free,

like sleeping beauty's kiss.

that song became my motto,

and i sing it all the time.

so happy am i that i am free.

because now that song is mine.

no more hiding inside myself,

no more tears that buried themselves inside.

no more lying, no more fears,

because i didn't succeeded in failing...

i succeeded because i tried.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

now i am awake, but it changes who i am.... so what can i do but embrace the changes?

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