Impatient Patient


Here I sit in my dreary hospital room,

trying to smile, amidst all this gloom.

I guess I should be grateful, I thought I'd be dead.

But instead I am hooked up, to things in my moveable bed.

Tubes going in, wires coming out.

Pointy needles, lotsa pills and various machines that shout.

The TV works, but its kinda jumpy.

The food is OK, but should my coffee be lumpy?

The nurses are nice,(none like nurse Ratchet)

But if there's a germ in here, I hope I don't catch it!

I take many walks with my IV pole,

back and forth to the bathroom, the two of us roll.

I've thought of some things, I could do for fun,

like unhooking my wires and watch people run!

Or call up the operator to page 'Doctor Gill Bayshent.'

Then laugh when I hear the gasps from the patients!

There's lots of ways to cure my boredom.

Might as well have some fun, since I'm not post-mortem!

When they ask, for a sample of my pee,

I could add some sugar and a bit of my tea!

The rubber gloves would make some great balloons,

or I could collect service for eight, stealing knives, forks and spoons!

Send back each meal, demanding to speak with the chef.

Fall on the floor and start gasping for breath.

Cut holes in the front of all of the gowns,

so people's asses still show when they turn them around.

There's so many ways to amuse, from A all the way to Z,

so I'll drive them all crazy, until they discharge me!!!

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