Not Much More Can I Take


List keeps building

ailments pile one on top of another

diagnosis dread fills me

at every doctors appointment

pill bottles multiply like rabbits

my body's become toxic wasteland.

I'm tired, I'm weak, I'm suffering.

Its said 'God doesn't give you

more than you can handle'

My cup of misery runnith over...

I sit, drowning inside

in a shallow pool of tears

from the overflow.

I couldn't handle more long ago

yet still it comes to me

again and again

and again.

Shoulders already hurting

slump from too much weight upon them.

I don't want anymore painful testing!

Yet, I must endure further torture

to 'get to the bottom of it'

Every part of me is pain...

even brushing my hair should be simple.

Its not...

its now a weakening, aching task I dread.

So much to do everyday

so much of it I can't do everyday

so much of it I force myself to do everyday

(since no one else will)

then I suffer so much more everyday.

Do you know what it does to your heart

when your child hugs you

and it hurts?

When holding your grandchild

causes you pain and weakness?

When being intimate with your husband

causes agony in your 'afterglow?'

This is my life

such as it is

so be it, I guess.

But there's not much more I can take

not much more at all.

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