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I couldn’t be more sure

Of all the nostalgia I’d endure,

If I were to explore

A calf love crisis

That was so hard to cure,

How your mummy, she knew mine,

They’d been friends

For a little time,

And the time that you explained,

Your first name, it was Jane,

I really loved you, Jane,

But you only

Gave me pain,

You said ‘hello’ the first,

But it only ended for the worst.

In our local swimming pool,

I swam so close to you,

Did you smirk

To your bob-haired friend,

Between the deep and the shallow end?

So I just shyly slinked away,

Feeling such a fool that day,

Pet Clark reinforced

My bitter woe,

Singing My Love on the radio,

I really loved you, Jane,

But you only

Gave me pain,

You said ‘hello’ the first,

But it only ended for the worst.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsdwgdtCigk