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My Pride, My Sin (vulgarity included)
I have no motivation
To become a better person
When another egotistical cunt
Invades my mind
I'm not supposed to be you
I never wanted this
Sold my sanity
For 15 minutes of bliss
Sinking into a crevice
Shit
Latent mockery diluted my vision
I can feel it creeping up
It's taking over
There's nothing I can do except
Except-
Fuck you
Sentimental and delusional
Hypo-critical
No backbone
You envisioned me, created me
And now you want to delete me?
It's not that easy
I'll make my mark on humanity
You needed me, I never needed you
This mind is not big enough for two
I'll sever this cancerous vein
Even if I kill myself
I can't stand the ones I love
Being hurt in the crossfire
Of my own battlefield
Even if I lose
I'll make sure you never win
You are my own creation
Mutually assured destruction
My pride, my sin
My punishment
the snake
this sort of mindset is hard not to slip into.. i, too, fear that i have sold my soul and struggle on a deep level, having found God and continued in sin. there is no way to live up to the standard of perfection, but i think that's the point. but to hate God for what i have done is something i've realized isn't logical. i raged at him for a long time but it's purposeless, God is just the purest form of me, and i'm just an expression of the ineffable "collective soul" (for lack of better words.) outside of it i don't exist, i can't exist. to kill God would be to kill everything that ever was, is, and is to come. it is easier to accept grace and simply live.
I have no quarrels with any
I have no quarrels with any God or gods, to do so would indeed be foolish. Just cause we can't prove in a human sense if they exist or not. We can't prove it either way, so why mock them? This one is primarily about schizophrenia, but I find your take on it very interesting. Always a pleasure to hear how other people perceive these. Thanks again.
i see schizophrenia as the
i see schizophrenia as the human condition personified. sort of like lsd-induced psychosis. two skies fighting. we all have demons to fight. i'm actually genuinely surprised this poem isn't about God, i see a lot of it in your writing.
Ironic, I don't personally
Ironic, I don't personally believe in the Christian God at all. This is why I like to hear how other people interpret my writing. Always fascinating.