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Drapes
Her hair over her shoulder
Her head over the back of the chair
Her gown over her legs
Her fingers over her porcelain arm
The morning dew over flower petals
Everything drapes
Everything rests
My lady's asleep
And she is beautiful
My lady outshines the morning sun
Even before she opens her eyes
A gentle dream for the citrus queen
Her warmth reflected in the burning skies
Today brings us the Summer season
The first sunbeam caresses her face
A perfect rose with its petals posed
Never held such simple grace
What perfect dreams could such beauty bring
What wonders does she see
But when she wakes and shyly takes
A look, she'll smile at me
Her slow, deep breaths inspire the birds to sing
But they're only part of the tune
The strum of a lyre and a crackling fire
Make the music for my flaming June
If you had ended this with line number 9 it would have been great--near perfect. However you didn't and it begins to ramble and becomes disjointed with the only connection between some parts being that they are on the same piece of paper (part of the same web sight). I am not "dising" the sentiment, emotion, experience or idea of this work. I think you could have crafted something better to express it. As much as I detest the use of Occams Razor as an arguemnt in Philosophy, a sharp ax could be wielded freely in most poetical forests and not draw an single drop of blood there is so much dead wood and brush hiding the true beauty of the ideas.
I really like these lines... "My lady outshines the morning sun Even before she opens her eyes A gentle dream for the citrus queen Her warmth reflected in the burning skies" I was chosen in the top ten last week for a poem called 'The Lady Of My Soul' and this reminds me of the same type of thinking. Very nicely done all the way around!
People don't run out of dreams they just run out of time.
beautiful
Donald, I wish that all of the world had someone to feel this way about them~! What a beautifully romantic piece of writing. Very lovely. I love the imagery you place in your poetry, taking the reader there, seeing what you are seeing. Really wonderful writing. Very enjoyable to read.
Very pretty, Donald. You use nature to frame your pictures of beauty, and the images are bright, accessible and full of vivid life. I too enjoy the beauty of a lady in repose. I will read this poem again, and hope to come away with a greater appreciation of your rhythm and flow. Well done, I say. Ken
My Secret River