Drowning in strong waters

Thinking outside the box
has never been so difficult
taking shots of scotch
to see if it makes me lyrical

to be a father at 26
its going to take a miracle
so I cop my daily fix
for two decades its been my ritual

and in a way
it feels like a sacrifice
communicating with spirits but not
ones from the afterlife

family begging me to change
before I end up begging for change
from every passerby
that passes by

the bottle talks to me
sells itself quite convincingly
the voice behind it telling me
that I should come willingly

and the way
I’ve been feeling lately mentally
makes that offer sound
tasty and interesting

I’ll water down the drinks
and take one shot to the head
But one leads to the next
its been weeks since
I’ve gave my kidneys a rest

don’t tell me I shouldn’t be so hard
on myself I could had been a star
and now I’m staring
at those dreams from afar

the doors that use to be ajar
are now closed
wow that feeling that flowed in my veins
has stop

cause those same veins
are now clogged
thinking of me
in my heyday its odd

my vision on seeing the big payday
was robbed
and now I do like most people and say
how I hate my job
so I pray to God
I don’t end up sleeping in a vacant lot

it’s a weakness a bet
I'm betting against
and failing just gets me upset
so here’s another shot
for bailing on success........

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I've had my struggles here and there with drinking, usually in time of problems or is it the alcohol itself creating the problems? For what its worth, I'm doing better now. The occasional glass of wine is usually sufficient.

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