Missing Grandma

Damn grandma I took your phone calls
for granted
busy on the other line being romantic
I got you recorded on my voicemail ranting

I was too busy chasing tail
you use to tell us as young males
find a good woman and never fail

to respect her
all the trouble
I would had saved if I had heeded that lecture
Damn grandma I needed that pressure

Your wisdom showing up in graying hairs
And all our names use to stay in you prayers
So I'm wondering why the man upstairs
Decided on not playing fair?

But I'm no one to ask those question
I'm better off projecting
all this aggression
towards the right direction

I’m angry and bitter
cause I want to be a quitter
And end it but then I’ll never be with her
I need to get stricter
fight off the habits of an addict
To the liquor

This is what its come to
Cause last time we talked she asked me “Mi hijo
do you want to
die like your two uncles?

I want to make the promise
but I don’t want to break it so I’ll be honest
if any one offers me a drink
I’ll decline politely and do it in your honor.

Trying to come to terms
that she was God’s chosen
but we’re still heartbroken
and hoping its just a dream
is a bizarre notion

being at our daily jobs
trying not to seem so odd
don’t want to speak trying not to sob
but these idiots keep asking questions making it kind of hard

To keep focused
Suppressing my rage trying not to be noticed
But indeed its hopeless......................
Grandma I miss you :(

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote this not too long after I lost my grandmother on New Year's 3 yrs ago. She passed away when the building she lived in caught on fire.

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SSmoothie's picture

Sad news but this poem is

Sad news but this poem is Grand and most befitting of such a wonder in your life. a very honest and real poem that I very much appreciated. thanks SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

CallOfTheMartyr's picture

Thanks

I guess pain and hurt and loss is as much part of life as everything else. Its what molds us and gives us character and wisdom. Even so, it doesn't make it any easier but poetry is such a beautiful outlet and in a sense its therapeutic in so many levels. Thanks again for reading and commenting buddy.