Could You?

I've been keepin' the last of my hope,

in my safe place,

it's the last of you, I ever knew,

the curve of your lips, as you showed me,

your happy face, the gleam of your eyes,

as you waved goodbye, the tears brimming,

tears uncried, as I kissed your lips,

leaving you behind, the first time,

and the last time.

You were my safe place, I could run to,

the only person I could ever, cry to,

you would laugh and kiss me, laugh and kiss,

my forehead, every time I would fall to...

every time I fell through,

you were the only one I could run to.

Now I run and I run, no one there,

no where, to run to, and when I fall,

I fall and fall, and the pain, it cuts through,

it cuts through...

All these pieces, all the broken parts,

all the best parts, left of me, I cut my hands,

until they bleed, as through, tears blurred eyes,

I sort them, hands too numb to hurt, heart too raw,

to feel, and I sort them, tear blurred eyes seeking,

a semblance, of what, I coulda been, if only....

if only....

You aren't there, anymore, emails unanswered,

and the cries for help, you've left me, alone,

and the darkness is closing, but my heart,

keeps hoping, cynical mind, knowing.....

but the broken, the scarred, perfectly flawed heart,

keeps hoping, I keep hoping.

Every woman gets compared to, you, to the way,

I felt, when I moved, through, my hand through,

your curly hair, how I was alive when, I,

came, inside you, how much I, wanted you,

when you came to, the motions of, my tongue,

and fingers, inside you.  

I had heaven on earth, when I held you,

the scent of your neck and hair, in my head,

and I loved you.  

Now, I go through, the motions of my life,

the colors all black and grey,

I'll always miss, you, but I know,

I have to get through, until I find,

a truer love, to call mine, a woman,

without conflictions, who spares me,

the contradictions and hypocrisy.

I'll always love, you, but I have to find,

a better way to, heal my mind,

I sold my soul, and my, precious little,

sanity, just to hold you, together, and,

make you see, just a fraction of, the beauty,

that so, overwhelmed me, and it, nearly,

killed me, but I loved, and I did, everything,

I could, to get through to......

You....were the angel, who brought my soul,

back from the brink, for whom I sold it,

pretty fucked up, dontcha think.  

So, now I'm hoping, to find, a better,

peace of mind, and a hand to rest,

an oft broken heart in, and I'm hopin'..

Gets so hard to keep hopin', I could find

that again, so hard, with all the bullshit games,

so many people keep spinnin', I'm intense and,

I never settle, for less, than, what I feel,

is true to me, can you be that, can you be,

that for......

I keep slippin', and I'm getting tired of holdin', on,

fingers skinned, down to the bone, this pain, becoming,

the only thing, I own, but I know, I know,

you're there, somewhere.

Laughter to warm my heart, a grin, that fires the spark,

a heart to love, a broken man, a soul to see,

the grace I hide, even from myself, a mind,

to penetrate, my bullshit, when I try to hide,

the pain that eats me alive, from the inside,

and hands to hold me, when my soul is too heavy,

and it hurts to breathe, and to love me,

to love me, when it all, gets to be,

too much, too much, for.....

Me, me, me, everything that, I could be,

can be, am, warm breath in your ear,

whispering, naughty, sexy, lovingly,

teasing, teasing, teasing, always.

A heart to love, til you're overwhelmed,

a mind to perceive every flaw and perfection,

a soul able to love them all, and appreciate,

the intrinsic, exquisite, infuriating,

mind that shines, from those eyes, you stare with,

up at me, that sexy smirk, on your lips,

eyebrow quirked so quizzically.

Hands, strong and soft, love made flesh and muscle,

made to trace your face, your lips, your thighs,

fingers made, to cause, those delightful, sighs,

and a love, of soft, silky skin, just short of devotion.

It, I, could be yours, if you could, if you would,

be mine, if you could, if you would, be mine,

my place to run to, my love, in this life, to cry to,

if you could catch me, when I fall to...

when I fall.

Could you?

View blueeyes's Full Portfolio
ApandaRae's picture

Wow this poem was so beautiful and realistic that it was hard for me to read. I could feel your pain lingering in between every space of every word. To sum this poem up in one word I would have to say phenomenal. Amazing talent you have!