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Ten Statements To Realize Your Relationship Isn't Where It Should Be Or Just Shouldn't Be.
1) When it took only months to fall in love, but it has taken you a year or more to realize that your young heart doesn't know what love is, does it?
2) When you find yourself making excuses to not talk to them or reasons to not have to face them.
3) When you feel guilty for not saying I love you back. Or feel guiltier when you do say it back as they smile and you watch your word fall flat on the ground like burning rubber and your significant other looks at them like you planted flowers.
4) When their every action makes you mad. You told them a year ago you could put up with that, that eight ounces of annoyance would never fill up a gallon bucket of your relationship. But have you ever held eight ounces in a gallon bucket in your hand for an hour? At an hour it starts demanding to be remembered in your hands. Five hours you have blisters and wondering how the hell eight ounces of water weighs so much. By a year you have callouses that tear when you open your hand fully and those eight ounces of annoyance turns into a pound if salt and falls into your wounds.
5) When you look at them and no longer imagine yourself walking over to them and gripping their hand. When instead you imagine a good two second hug and a question of what is new, I haven't seen you in three months.
6) When you promised to love them forever and suddenly your forever seems a lot shorter than how you meant it. When forever was just a second per letter and you wonder when you finally get to clock out. Wish you could just give it a break, have a day off, before coming back in to the relationship
7) When it becomes a job you can't wait to go home from. When you realize there is no home from it. When you realize that it is worse than a leash. Because you don't realize you have one until you don't want one any more.
8) When you find yourself writing about them in past tense. Sad love poems about them being gone and how you miss them, how you breathe easier, how you hope they marry the person they love, about how you miss your favorite shirt that they took. If in your poems you don't add that you are the reason it ended.
9) When you start looking at things and wondering if they count as theirs or mine?
10) When you look at them and you cry. When you look them straight in they eye and have to explain it to them so they understand that this is goodbye, that it wasn't just them or just you, it was both if you. It was the lies unintentionally told, the eight ounces of annoyance you promised each other didn't matter, it was everything you thought love was supposed to conquer.
And the never optional;
11) When you know it's love and that it will never be enough.
Well poet
I am impressed at your first ever! Keep writing. It is heavily desired. That said, I leave you with these thoughts. Love comes through sometimes whether we are ready or not. Physical attractions, romantic projections, those feelings surprise us until we understand that there is something very mysterious there that needs our consideration. Love is an amazing life-force which seems to operate under its own principles. If we do not integrate the mind, body, flesh, and spirit, we never achieve the love that we are seeking we may end up in a struggle alone trying to understand loves entire nature. We come into the world alone, we will leave alone, while we live, we should always seek to achieve love.
http://www.postpoems.org/authors/9inety/poem/324991
Peace
Dylan
"One of the best results of life, is the torment of love"
Dylan Eliot