Should Have Been Me

My eyes and their hurtful lies

Showing me a familiar face

But I know this is one they never truly knew

And though from afar

These eyes of mine

Affixed to this face in my likeness I now see

As sure as the day is long

This face I see never desired to know me


And though you don’t see from where you stand

I speak to you aloud as if you can

You’re that carbon copy of a man

The original author of me

Who owns all my features

Your only job to do what she couldn’t

To enlighten and make this boy a man

But I no longer obsess with why you wouldn’t


Because now it’s too late

I’m already broken

As a child, instead of with you I sat hoping

And threw my ball against a loveless wall

While you were on the first train smokin’


So unwilling

And I

Your unworthy seed

Regrettably stamped with your miserable seal

You’ve been a regular collector of dust in my mind’s projector

And the primary reason I no longer feel


So now

As I see your disloyal smile

Wide as the Nile

Holding what I can only assume the hand of your replacement child

I convince myself to let go and live free

But this fever in my heart will make a troublesome fresh start

Just knowing

That should have been me


Copyright © 2014 by Daryl R. Gaines. All rights reserved






Author's Notes/Comments: 

No boy should have to grow up without a father. And it's unfair to expect a woman to turn a boy into a man