Hating You

Lost Love

I knew it'd hurt the first time I saw you with someone else
I didn't know the hatred that would eat at my soul-
I've spent the last year loving you as a best friend ,
And the last 11 months as your wife.
Now you say there's someone new, and you love her.
I ask you, how can you just give up on all we shared?
Did our wedding vows mean so little?
Sometimes I just wish you'd die.
Or that I would die.
I can't go on this way
Not for another second, or another day.
I love you, no I hate you.
You hurt me and I just can't walk away.
I can't let you go to love someone new.
Yet if you were to come home, I couldn't again love you.
I love you,
Your memories so precious and sweet.
The way you vowed never to let me go
The way you'd hold me in your arms.
I hate you.
I hate you for loving her-
I hate you for no longer loving me.
For finding a life while I sit here and cry.
But most of all, I hate myself.
I hate myself because I married you so soon.
I should have listened to everyone and waited a little longer,
I hate myself for all the thoughts of revenge.
I wish I too could find a new love.
But I hate too much to ever love or trust again.
It's all your fault and I hate you for leaving me so bitter at the world.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written after my ex husband left me.

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