LETTING MY HEART LEAD THE WAY

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POEMS FOR ME

"It is not of God to think negatively.

When you doubt what he can do...

That is just Satan messing with you."

She said to my friend.



I thought about it,

Even though I am not

What one would call

A Christian who divides

Their every action into

good or evil

Heaven bound or hell bent.



Yet, the notion struck me,

What is the job of the heart?

What is the job of the mind?



If I had to define this,

The hearts job, IS ONLY TO LOVE.

It is the adoration, puppy love, and crush's we go through.

The heart cannot control it's feeling ability...

It cannot stop loving.



Even after break ups,

When we learn hidden things about our partners,

It is our mind that wants justice.

It is our mind that understands betrayal...

Because it says,

"You woulda, coulda, shoulda known."

The mind is capable of negativity and positivity,

The heart can only

Hope for love,

Long for love,

Desire love.



When the mind seeks justice,

And can plan and plot the cruelest of things,

It is the heart that stops us...

"Don't do that, you loved them."

The heart cannot allow the desecration of something

It once held dear.

Even though,

It no longer loves that person.

It never engages in malice or revenge.



When I split my emotion,

Into what is of the heart,

And what is of the mind,

I am always confronted with one thing...



My heart, always loves.



People say,

"I wish I didn't wear my heart on my sleeve."

A thought I used to have.

No longer do I engage in these thoughts,

Why would you want to loose the ability

To love, stong, deep, wide, and long.

The heart endures...

The mind finds reasons to quit.



I've heard people say,

"I wish I could love with my mind, not my heart."

Translation:  "I wish I could steer clear of being hurt."



Do not misunderstand me,

Does the heart feel some pain,

YES, but it is passing.

It can never hold on to negativity for long,

This is not it's nature.



The mind on the other hand,

Seeks every reason to hold a grudge,

Remembers every iniquity,

Relishes in the tragedy of those who've hurt us...

When the heart has long since let that go.



When I reminise over old loves,

My heart no longer loves them,

But my mind can allow retribution to boil.



So what is of God?

The heart.



II.



I get angry,

When people say,

"I know you and what kind of person you are."

I almost want to say,

"Please, clue me in, because I don't know."

It's not that I can't see myself in objectivity,

Nor is it the belief that I think they are wrong.



But no one knows us,

And we know no one.

The self is in constant flux...

We are constantly growing in refined newness,

And pruning the dead limbs that no longer work for us.



What we know of ourselves and of each other,

May be but a few dimples of a golf ball.

Because we can only see half of a golf ball,

We must have faith that things will be okay,

In regards to the things we face as unknowns...

Even when we face those events,

And have no reference points,

It must be thought of as just another dimple.

Another event in this event called life.



III.



Life is an event,

It requires action.

There is very little time for non-mood.

And hopelessness is not without hope.

For when we give up,

Seek an end to any misery,

We still hold to hope that where ever we go...

Is always better than here.





IV.



The best we can ever hope for,

Is to understand our flaws,

Not to just acknowledge them,

But to seek to overcome them.



We cannot allow oursleves the opportunity

To think that the self is cast in stone,

Unchanging and unyielding.

When we were children,

We thought the world revolved around us.

We dealt with the world as children.

As adults, we saw that the world is far too complicated

     To believe it's all about us.

And we learned to deal with problems with rational and insight

     Something children do not posess.



Good and Evil

Are the minds will to act,

Hope and Love

Is the hearts desire to create positivity.



If the mind is the yen,

It is the heart that is the yang.



Perhaps those who don't

Want to wear their hearts on their sleeves,

Or want to love with their minds,

Do not realize it is the hearts hope that gets blocked

By the minds negativity and will to control.



If one loves their heart,

It will always love freely,

And believe that if love is given freedom,

And it does return,

Then it is a love to keep,

A love that is forever,

And far stronger than the minds ability

To destroy it with

It's desire for justice,

    By all means necessary.

It's will to plot revenge,

It's ability to remember and hold grudges.



As for me,

I will love from my heart,

I will understand my mind,

   And all it's power.

But I will choose to let my heart,

   Lead the way.

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