I picture her driving to work,

Listening to the radio.


Thinks over her morning,

Her childrens activities and their schedules.

Maybe she needs to buy some dog food,

And she forgot to put that on a grocery list.

She pulls by an ATM machine,

And as she reaches to grab the cash,

The ring I gave her cross's her scope of vision.

Does she set there a moment,

Look at it,

Hear those lyrics,

And wonder.

"Is that woman keeping me as a DIRTY LITTLE SECRET?"

I wish I could say no,

But I do feel dirty.

I want to talk about Tracy all the time.


I catch myself around my ex.

I'm still helping her get on her feet.

I don't want to hurt her,

Not this way.

How do I rid the dirtiness?

When should I let my ex know about my new love.

I don't want my love thinking she's a dirty little secret,

Or any secret for that matter.

My ex says,

"When I think I'm in a jam,

I just have to remember there is always,

Tomorrow, and a way out."

Words so easy off the toungue,

Easy advice from the cuff.

Pressure rises in me,

Because I want to be fair...

And not all things in life are fair.

I don't want bad Karma,

And how do I be honest and believably compassionate,

All at the same time?

My love,

I have a feeling she saw this coming.

Somehow, I have to find a way...

To express my honesty,

To express my compassion for her situation,

Be fair to her and let her know,

Reguardless of the pain...

Because if she figured out,

Six months down the road,

Just how the events have unraveled,

It may hurt her worse in the long run,

And there would be no friendship.

I want freedom, for myself,

Security for my love,

Understanding for my ex...

But life does not center around my wants.



Feels like a disease,

No one knows how to deal with.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

TR  Thinking out loud--what would you put up with?  What can my Love endure?
How would my ex like to hear the news and when?
When does protecting someone from hurt, actually end up hurting them more?  Thinking out loud and keeping the owls awake.

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