May 29th 2004

I remember why I loved you....

The way your mascara out lined your eyes...

Looking like Alladin's princess Jasmine...

Huge almond eyes that looked adoringly into mine.

I remember how you would take your long slender fingers,

Red nails...tearing at the crunchy coated chicken...

Pull the skin off, glistening fingers as it forever,

Paused a moment before your lips.

Your lips puckering to blow the hot sizzling morsel.

Then slowly, like the ultimate lady,

You placed it in your mouth...not

Quite chewing at first, but sucking the juice from it.

I remember the Sand and Sable.

I remember your laugh.

I remember the sex.

God, how I remember the sex.

In this form, we were good together.

But I remember the police,

I remember the call I made to SRS,

I remember not forgiving myself.

I remember things thrown through my window,

And I was amazed that you remembered that I didn't want you,

Kicked like a dog.

It is nice to know,

That with every good memory,

It isn't replaced knowing the joy came from false pretenses.

It is good to know,

You have peace in being clean and sober,

And I delight in seeing you happy.

Even if I am shocked by this new behavior.

It is wonderful

To be able to have that friend--

Who no longer has to worry about where I am...

Especially when I didn't even know it...

I didn't know you hurt so badly.


At times, way too much,

Others, not enough.

It's sad that this friendship--

Almost has to click along like a business...

Ensuring that neither of us gets close enough,

Assuring in ourselves that it's nothing more,

Than friendship.

Here's to new afternoon delights,

And nights that may be all night long.

Oh, but it is the best sex I've ever had,

And yes...


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