A rat race,

Hell on wheels,

Screeching tires and nails on chalkboard walls,

Shrills of children screaming in tight corridor halls.

My mind is a mess,

I feel so used up,

This mental illness delivers such a tremendous punch,

I don't want to drink from it's cup.

Yet, MY LOVE reassures me,

HER LOVE is true.

She won't let me give up on my dreams,

And helps me through,

When the only option I see,


It gets to a point,

Where I feel car sick on a hot summer's day.

Where I think I know what it's like to want a joint,

Just to keep the rising tide of chemo's snakes at bay.

It's the up and down of a ship,

The rocking, the 'to and fro' of the bow,

I try so hard not to get sick,

But I hang my head over the side and I throw up anyhow.

It's seeing my toe nails from my mouth fling,

My stomach tightens so hard,

I loose it down my leg.

And I've never prayed so earnestly to my God.

The "out", is death,

And I wish for my last breath,

But I go on,

And face the dawn,

With my friends who requiet this sickness...

This insane nightmare of a heinous thing.

She is near,

With her arms open with care,

Her voice is soft,

And calls me in.

Great magic quells the beast,

And a silent slumber lets me dream in lofty clouds of sleep,

If but for a moment,

She keeps me safe enough NOT to think...

As I close my eyes,

And shut out the legion of demons screams.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's rare to find someone who will love a person in their entirety, let me repeat, their "entirety".  One can take medication for physical ailments, but when the mind plays tricks on the person who is "normal" one minute, and not thinking "right" the next, it stresses relationships.  To many times I've heard, "Why can't you just snap out of it!"  Psychotropics are only 50-60 years old, and in the beginning, medications  used were predominately used in treating epilepsy.  Physical sciences for the human body and fighting infections and diseases such as aspirin, and things like that have been traced back 2000 years to China.  Excuse me, and excuse us if we aren't "up to date", maybe in the next life we'll "get it", be able to "figure out how to snap out of it."  In the mean time, I love my friend.  No matter where either of us will be, we'll always have one heart.  THANKS EWB!

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