I’ve sat in church,

For several Sundays now,

Looking out from the choir loft,

Looking at my ex with her newest lover.

I was fine, for a while.

The sermon felt as if it was meant to zero in on me,

But  I let it go,

There were many of us in those shoes,

To love ones neighbor,

As one loves themselves.

The Hebrew word of LOVE,

Means, “to give”.


The service went on without a hitch,

And as I went down to the fellowship hall, afterwards,

I noticed a table with two open seats at it.

I put my bag upon the table,

As I tried to save that extra seat for a friend.

Someone’s cell phone was there,

But I thought it was no big deal…

Everyone had cell phones and cases.

By the time I made it through the line,

I turned to find it was my ex at that table,

It was her phone.

I did not falter,

I did not cause harm,

I did not spew mean hateful words,

I simply smiled and said, “It’s nice to see you in church.”

With bag in hand,

I left in Peace.

It hurt, that moment,

And that was all I knew.

I hated how I didn’t say anything more,

And looked like a deer in headlights when I did muster to say,

What I thought my daughter would be proud of.

The daughter of me and this ex who sat before me.

Our daughter did not live.

However, days later,

I have felt my daughter’s fingers around my finger,

She smiling at me,

Saying, “It was nice of you, mommy.

It had to take a lot to say that,

And I love you.

You demonstrated, LOVE.

YOU chose to GIVE.”

My ex writes that I’m a drama queen,

And that her reply of,

A Lady is a Lady, No Matter Where She Is…

That her simple “Thank-you” made her a lady.

She has not returned my things,

Like I have hers,

And there is no more of a point than that.

I do not expect mine back, nor do I want them,

I only say it to exemplify that she can still think she is a Lady,

And that she can still think she is Godly.

She writes about her mother,

Who trained her well.

Her mother loves us both…

And by her Faith, prays for us both.

Yes, she taught my ex to be a Lady,

But it is her mother who taught me to Love my enemy’s—

Because I made them.

And I love my ex,

Because for the sake of my daughter,

I refuse to keep my ex, an enemy.

I can engage her, by accident, or not,

And be civil.

I can smile and say, “I hope all is well.”

And that includes her new lover.

Saying “Thank-you”, is not LOVE.

And reflecting on how one is a “Lady”,

Is not about God.

IT did not GIVE.

“Thank-you” is an acceptance of a compliment.


She did not give, has not given, and may not give.

Isabella Faith Tardy-Yarnell, you inspire me to GIVE.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To Isabella Faith Tardy-Yarnell, my light, my love, my salvation.  Lord, please, keep me in the presence of mind to love my ex again, enough serve you within the confines of the same church, within the scope of your understanding and love.

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