I crave....in hunger of my mind...

To know why I chase the rabbit like I do.

I want to stop the relentless running,

That leaves me foaming at the mouth like a rabbid dog.

My subject

Runs through brambles and bushes,

Thickets and forrests,

Mountains and ravines,

Of endless mindgames.

Yet, I still latch onto that scent,

Where I think I can circumnavigate circumstance.

Where I think I can out maneuver life...

    Of places of where I think she might be.

I don't want to run into her,

I'm afraid and I am fragile.

I loved her with all my heart,

And what she showed me was her reflection off dry ice...

    Slowly disapating into nothing.

    I left with nothing....no image...just memory.

She lives on in a world of fantasy...

    A fantasy that made my life perfect.

And everytime I see her, I'm wracked with pain,

    Of want and desire, of lament and anguish.

Why did she have to come back into my field of vision,

    Just when I started to feel safe again?

I thought I had to figure out what happened...

So I could find myself.

I'm finding out, that if this is the case...

Finding me only when I find her...

I will never regain myself.

There may be no resolution,

But I have to swim through the occlusion,

The stained blemish on my life,

To start living again.

Without a reference point.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sometimes I feel like I'm having to build my self up like builing a house on the water.  There is no way to keep one board still, while attaching another.  I know that it is possible, but needs care, dedication, and time.  Unfortunately, I'm one of those types that want things done yesterday.

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