"I can hold it in!

No sweat!  No problem!

Piece of cake.

I just won't talk...

I'll suck it up, and drive on, drive on...

No one will know."

What a pity,

What I held in, became so covered.

Like tar over shingles...

And all the while the rains came down.

And I forgot to keep the roof covered.

I became so involved with the world,

I didn't see my house leak.

And I'd hate how people said,

"I can read you like a book you see."

A book!

I am a person far more sophisticated

Than a movie,

Than a script,

Or some soap opera play.

You can't fit me between pages.

I AM beyond words,bigger than a stage.

You cannot fit in it all that is me,

I am the paper and the ink.

The reader, the audience, the actor, the muse.

Don't tell me that you can read me,

This ploy, I refuse.

Then after some time,

I just couldn't deal,

Mental maddness too big to heal.

Hurt so bad I didn't want to feel.

Thought I'd go insane,

I reached for a blades,

I Tripped my own my ego,

Fell in way over my head, I did go.

Then I heard those words...

"Think of your life as a house."

Then the memories came.

"When did you go there last?"

I became quite as a mouse.

The tar wasn't there,

The roof fell in.

Everything I wanted never to get out-----

The out came in, and the in went out.

I hated the fact she could see me...

With all my faults so foul.

She heard my screams, even some howls.

She saw me going insane,

I wanted to seal my fate.

I tried to bail,

But it was apparent that I failed...

And all that I thought I could hide,

Simply, was there for anyone to find.

But she told me there was no shame,

And I could get better she had no doubt.

Pride, went before my fall...

She ended up reading me like a book after all.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

funny how we try to keep so much from people...then when we don't even realize, often too late, the heart speaks between the lines...Our cover blown, but God never forsakes.  This is dedicated to EMS, a very special friend.

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