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To The Man You Truly Were
Not too many people really understood
The man that was really you.
The sickness deep within you
Scared more than just a few.
You ranted and you raved
So much when I was a child.
Even though you scared me
You could also make me smile.
Upon your lap each Sunday
With the Funnies in your hand
You were so kind and gentle
Somehow, I learned to understand.
You are a very special part
Of the woman I've become
There were many happy and loving times
Mixed with the unhappy ones.
I didn't get to say good-bye to you
Before the Lord took you away.
So quickly gone from all of us
Just as you were facing a new day.
It was hard for me to understand
After all the years of pain
That when they finally knew what was wrong with you
You were taken away.
Perhaps the name was just given us
To help us understand
To think of you with loving thoughts
Of who was the true man.
When I came to say good-bye to you
After you had passed away
I looked upon you differently
Than in my younger days.
Dear Father, I know you are with me now
Embraced in Our Father's Love.
I just wanted now, to say, somehow
That you were truly loved.
Ah. That poem made me cry. What a great tribute to your dad. I thought it was about your husband at first. Without getting into details, I know what it is like for people not to take the time to get to you know.
Hello! Yuor poem has truly made a mark in my heart. It has helped me in some way to reflect upon, some of the good times that I have had in the past with my father. I only wish that I could remember more, but it seems that the bad out do the good. There was a time in my life that I was "Daddy's little girl" and thoughs moments I do hold very close to me. I also remember a time where he made me smile rather then cry, and which more often then not I am crying. Although I will remember his harsh words and his aparent dislike of me always, I only wish that he could some how see the impact he has had on me. He has had a hand in making me who I am now. He has made me realize that his negitivity towards me, may have in the begining weakened me, but as I am older now, it some how makes me stronger, gives me a driving passion to show him other wise. I have often searched for someone who could truly understand my situation, and there are many who have walked the same path as I, I see an understanding here that I have not yet found any where else. Yuo seen the man your father truly was and that in part gives me more hope that I too will see again the true side of my father. The side that did too sit me on his knee sunday mornings and read the funnies to me, and tucked me in to bed sometimes at night. I truly do miss thoughs times. Thank you so much. Peace and much love.
Hi Lesa,
I'm so proud of you. It takes a mature and loving person to do what one 'ought' to do instead of what one 'wants' to do. It is so easy to just brush off the person as a raging 'nut' case. I'm glad that you can look at your dad with different eyes and love him for the man he truly was. It takes a loving person and child such as yourself to be able to understand who he really wanted to be but couldn't because of a chemical imbalance.
There is a poem that I love to read from time to time entitled 'The Touch of The Master's Hand' If I can find it, I'll get it to you. It is a classic and favorite of mine and never fails to bring tears to my eyes when I read it. I'm not sure but I may have already put it on the site...yep, I did...just looked and it's on my BraveHawk site...
I didn't always appreciate my dad when I was growing up as a child. He was very seldom available for me because of work and personal issues on his part, but as I got older, I came to know him for the man he really was and that has been spelled out in my poems to him entitled 'Happy Birthday Dad' and 'Hey Dad--Peace At Last!!!'
Thank you for sharing this piece with us and I hope it serves as an inspiration to all who read it to try and look at their parents as the loving people they wanted to be and not as the one's they oftentimes were.
in light and Spirit
BraveHawk
No one can truely understand what it is like to be depressed unless they went that way themselves. I'm not talking about feeling blue but the kind of depression that lands you in an mental institution with shock therapy, pills are administered by shrinks and people in white have to watch you. You have my compassion. Even tho there is pain in this poem it is a wonderful tribute to your father who were not able to help himself or his behaviour.
I really enjoyed your point of view in this story. I wish more people could see what is really there. So many times people are labeled as "scary people" and never get the chance they deserve. I am glad that you were able to forgive and love your father, I am sure you will be blessed for that. May you always love fully, Nikki
Lesa, I came and read this right after you posted it, but while I was writing my critique I got disconnected and didn't make it back right away. There is so much I can tell you, when it comes to the subject of Dad's... But for now I'll just tell you That the Dad I lost two years ago was my stepfather. As far as I'm concerned, he was my Dad.
My birth father is still alive and I saw him on my recent trip... I'd not seen or spoken to him in over 12 years. He is 80 yrs old now and in poor health..I know I will never see him again, so I made it a point to say goodbye to him for the very last time... Again! I did this more for my Mother's sake than mine, for I had killed him off years ago in my heart. Let me just say, that I am glad I saw him again! And your poem makes me feel even better about it, for I believe now that my own father may have suffered from some very severe emotional problems and had no one who ever understood!
Thank you!
Peace and love ~~~~ Dougie ~~