I have to keep believing

Believing that you are out there somewhere

I have to keep busy

I have to keep telling myself that this is ridiculous

And illogical to keep waiting

Waiting for a woman I don’t know is out there

Illogical to believe that this person will heal my heart

And will help this world to make sense

So much pressure on someone who has yet to enter my life

--Maybe she has, maybe I’m to busy waiting I forgot about looking

I have made so many plans with others- people I thought were the ‘one’

I thought I found her for sure

And after saying she wanted to marry me, decides she doesn’t love me that way

So I have to keep believing that there is someone enough like me

Like me enough to understand me to hold the same values high

And enough not like me so that we can grow

I have a lot of things I need to get done

And I am getting to the point where I don’t want to bother

I can’t put this kind of time and energy into things if they fall apart

It makes me fall apart too

I have a family already I must warn you

So I am going to want you to be part of mine

I have a son and would love to have some more children

I have been hurt way too much

If you don’t have every intention of staying with me don’t bother

I would have never have loved than to have loved and lost

Because when I love, it’s on a soul level and part of me wants to die when it’s gone

Recently a woman ripped out my heart as if it weren’t a big deal

I think she was just too immature to know what a committed relationship is

What it means to be committed

I maybe young but I am not dumb

I need something – someone

To build a life with

So I have to keep believing

Even though my head keeps telling me its illogical

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