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Anorexia
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Other stuff One
Two
Three
Still not enough
She breaths in and out slowly
Trying to calm the rage inside her head
Hands slide down to her stomach
Better
She look at the hollow where a stomach ought to be
Yes much better
The rage gets louder again
Whats wrong with you! Your so weak, oh so very weak!
She resumes the ritual
Wraps the index finger and thumb around the left wrist and then the right
Good the fingers overlap some more than they did last night
Every little bit counts
She stands up and raises her arms
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
She counts again
Good
She swells with pride
She looks at her reflection and moves from her ribs to her hips
Admiring how her hips stick out
But then she sees it
Her breasts
Bad, huge in the way breasts
Skinny girls don't have DD's she tells herself
She starts to cry
No, no I have to be strong
She lays back down in bed and turns out the lamp
The ritual resumes as she does sit-ups in bed until she collapes into a dreamless sleep
wow this poem nearly made me cry, i want to thank you for writting it. i can really relate to it because i too have had problems with anorexia. thank you so much for writting it, it helps me to realize im not going through this alone, go read some of my poetry if you wish, i just strted so there's not much but i think you might enjoy them.
stunning even in your pain...which is a crime against beauty itself to see you suffer.. and i feel greedy and ashamed for enjoying this..thank you again for sharing your heart, your pain, and your beautiful soul