No one can really describe what it is like.

It is something that takes over.

It is moments that some people say rationality goes out the window.

For a moment I allowed my mind to take the trip.

To think of breaking a universal rule.

I thought I could end it all.

The nightmares, that person stalking me, my family, my friends.

The maligning of untruths, burdens, and me over damage control I should not have to do.

For a moment I took a step into homicidal ideation.

I thought I’m an expert firer, mixed race with dark skin.

The army taught me to always complete a mission, so I could pick a night, park a few blocks away, wear dark clothes, lay in the prone and handle the situations.

I thought in doing so I’d take the step from homicidal ideation to suicide and no one would even have to know.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I have dark moments at times and they scare me.

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