Violated [MATURE] (3 poems, Violated: Raped: Rerquim)

I lay there, what happened, what went wrong

he seemed so nice, so caring

I thought I'd known him so long and all

Had I never really known him

Was this all he wanted

To play with my heart, which lay ripped from my warm boosum

Shattered on the ground



I had loved him, care for and about him

So close were we and yet it was a show

Not even who he said he was

Into my house he came

A smile on his face

A knife into my heart

He left my dreams of what he was

And left me on the floor

I write this as a warning

lack your heart away.



A tear falls to the floor, that tear of a twice fool

Once a fool for living

Once a fool for loving

Twice the fool for caring

Twice the fool for going on



Violated heart and mind

Body without a soul

He stole that as so much more

My eyes look back on me

A darkness in the hollow sockets

Leave no questions left

Blank and distant, hopeless,

a mothers daughter raped from the womb of purity

A mothers child taken from her



So many things, friends have betrayed

I would welcome my darkness, I would welcome thee, devil

I welcomed you lucifer to my home, the guise of an angel

I shall never welcome again...



------------



So many truths, the truth be told

Telling brings pain, sorrow to all

Shall it be I never tell anouther agan,

No living sould should know



Dark and dismale is the life I portay

Fake and see through, if you look

Nothing is real for I be nothing

All that is real is my heart

A dark and deceatful thing it be

The reason for it entombed in ice



If without heart I be now than without sin be I

A sin to friends and all who care

A weight I bare alone

To be or not to be

There is no question as I never was

Raped of mind and the body o0f others

Forever alone, forever dark

Only myself to blame

Only myself to consol

The closest to me know the darkness



Know all I have done...

Forgiveness shall never be asked

I can not be forgiven

Dark and pained, eternaly alone

Older than I look

Older then this place

Older than dispare

lonelyness.



Raped of them and left of me, nothing in both cases

Dark and deep doth this gash run, shall I bring it forth

Shall I go the way of my heart

And end this decite forever...



-------------



I know I am alive, but I feel dead,

should I make that feeling truth as well

As it stands I may be only half alive,

and even then mostly dead

Will this ache of my heart undo me



I tremble, it is hot out and I shiver

I fear not death for in it is the only peace I'll know

...

what I fear comes before it

Silence

Please don't leave me this way

be mad, be sad, hit me, abuse me

Call me what ever you want

Call out my secrete for all to hear

... just don't leave me in solotude

I can't take it any more...

I used to revel in it and now I know why

If I remained alone I would have hurt no one

I have hurt the two I care about most

Closer to me than family or any one else

and I desieved them

They loved me

I lied to them

I expect a blade for my sins

The bell will tool soon

the final judgement

My nineth life ...



Shall I die alone

yes...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this series of poems is not meant for people under the age of 16. it deals with my darker side.

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poetry_freak's picture

Wow, I can hear how powerful your emotions are. I appreciate your honest words and vivid descriptions you use to bring us into your mind.