Life of the dead heart Phoenix (ch5&6)

Confusion lies in the heart and it takes confusion to unlock it, yet again that is logic. I do not "feel" confusion for I reason that there is no need to be confused and yet there is a growing throb that 4 have come together to stoke and warm... Will they sucseed? Logic says that if one persists at something long enough then one will overcome it... But if in your jorney you are always moving half the distence that is left then you will never reach your goal...

The mind is logic, that is where I live, the heart is confusion, that is where a woman should live... If that is true then my whole life has been illogical and yet it seems logical to abandon emotion.

No tears, or heartache. No broken promesses, or dreams. But at what price do you pay for 'FEELING' no pain? You give up love and happiness, joy and pleasure... It now seems logical to me that even with all that is against feeling there is so much more for it... And yet I find that my heart is still cold to the touch.

Still cold it is logical for something that isn't needed or used to grow cold, It uses less energy that way... could these four help put the energy back?


It is said that things are as you make them to be, but did I make my heart be cold? Do I draw these four to me out of my will? Am i to cold for anyone to aid? These questions raise doubt in me but doubt isn't a feeling, it is the act of being caught between to questions not knowing either but forced to answer one.

Coriosity is known to me, but that is a quest for knowlegde. I am curious about how I would feel. What would I feel if my dog die tomorrow? Nothing. I know it may be unsettling for some to hear that but it would only mean that she isn't here to me. I would miss what I could have learned from her, I would miss her warmth that her body had, but would I miss her... No, I wouldn't. It wouldn't sadden my heart at all for it doesn't feel as of yet...

Maybe if they soften it enough it might leek a little. Then, like a dam, the trickle would wear the rest away and the flood would come... I don't know if that is how it will happen. Anything is possible

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