My Sunshine

As the sun takes its first peek from behind the mountains,

Its warm smile spreads across the land.

Stars fade away and left no sign of the crazy party they held last night.

Moon shyly hides behind the vast blue cover.

Your smile came up behind my locker door as you try to make me smile.

All unhappiness, fear, sadness disappear into thin air as you held me close and whispered in my ear,

"Good morning sweetheart.'

You, are my sunshine.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Once found my sunshine but sunshine does not last forever.

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Debbie Goldsmith's picture

I really like the ideas behind this piece although I do think you might have revised your vocabulary a little to make the way they are conveyed more effective. For example "Stars fade away and left no sign of the crazy party they held last night." doesn't read as well as the first two lines of the poem suggest it perhaps should. I think here it's the phrase "crazy party" which brings the standard slightly lower.

Blessed Be

Nicole Skillen's picture

I adored this poem. The way you used imagery was remarkable. I loved the description of the stars giving way so that the brillance of the sun can overtake the day. And then, how you tied it in with everyday life, with the guy's smile and lovely comments chasing away any form of unhappiness you may have had. A wonderful metaphor, i enjoyed it. I look forward to reading more of your works Keep writing. ~Nicole