who knew you were such a fuckup part two

When I asked you to get me a Big Mac,

With extra large fries,

And you only brought me 3 Chicken McNuggets,

I should have known.

When I asked if you had been listening,

(I can't believe you had the balls to reply:)


I should have known.

When I asked if I was the best you ever had,

And you told me about your pet sheep,

How you named her Linda,

I should have known.

When I asked you to marry me,

And you asked with delight,

"Is there gonna be cake?!?"

I should have known.

When I tried to have a serious discussion,

About the latest political movement,

And you replied,"That taco really got to me too."

I should have known.

But then one day I realized,

And I gave you a fork,

And told you to stick it in the electrical outlet,

You should have known.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was inspired by choirgrrl Toni Walper, who by all rights, is the biggest fuck up I know.  Read her original piece, and you will see that I am much, much cooler.  Please don't think me strange for writing this shit...it's 3 in the morning and I have nothing better to do.

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Starry Jean's picture

This is so cool. I love the pictures that come to mid. Can't stop laughing now...

andshedied's picture

You're cooler, but don't let Toni know that, she's not all there and could go postal.

andshedied's picture

You chose to write your little comment on this poem, because it is the best poem you've NEVER written! Quit insulting me and get a real job, ("I just wanted to let you know my adult movie channel is working, and I am enjoying the adult movies..")And what did I tell you all? I insult her, and she tells me she loves me. She is my bitch. p.s. I have the power to delete your feeble critiques. Bother me again, and you will be erased.

choirgrrl's picture

Look who's talking, little miss "Hog Up My Phone Line". Tell you what, why don't you get a real job "Phone Bitch"? Maybe someday, after puberty finally rears its' ugly head in your world, you will understand the ways of an awesome wommon like me! (you know I really love you.... keep one eye open as you sleep.....)