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Sadistic Arrangement
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Raindrops The early hours of the morning
As the sweat rolls down my brow
Drowning in the memories
That brought me here right now
Fighting off some destiny
Painted from that thin red line
Counting all the silver shreds
As they dance inside my mind
I can say it never mattered
Yet I never had control
Sinking into the shadows
Where the angels dare not go
Death is crawling through my veins
Like perfume in the wind
My own sadistic keeper
As I fail myself again
Beyond the moonlit nights
And the fragments of my heart
I pay homage to the ones
Who never saw it past the dark
Somehow I feel forgotten
And caged within myself
Too many walls inside my head
Encompassed by my regrets
You know I never wanted
To be anything but me
But I've become a prisoner
To my own anxiety
As the lights come flashing on
I raise up off my knees
Studying the aftermath
Of this personal deceit
One day I'd like to say
It was worth it in the end
But I know the day will come
That I will do it all again
