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I hate how wide my body is

I hate how my hair falls

I hate my teeth

I like my eyes

I hate the shape of my face

I hate how large of a body frame I have; and the inevitable fact it's all down hill from here

I hate how I feel judged no matter what I do 

I hate the fact that I was picked on throughout high school

I like the fact that I'm doing better than some of the bullies I used to deal with

I hate my family pushing me to do things I don't want to do with myself

I hate how I never went to culinary school

Yet I love the fact I don't cook for a living everyday because I probably wouldn't enjoy it when I'm at home

I hate how I felt prettier when I was younger and now my self esteem has almost completely disappeared

I love that I can provide for myself without needing things from others

I wish I was happier than I am serious

I hate how I feel old

I wish there was more time in a day

I wish I could love myself. 

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm only 26, and I wrote this to vent about my self esteem and the impact of being bullied. 

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©6 October 2013 - 3:49pm — alexandrea_maki
21 August 2020 - 8:14pm — S74rw4rd
S74rw4rd's picture

I hope more happiness has

I hope more happiness has come your way since you wrote that poem.  I was bullied in high school, too, where I was considered a geek/nerd/dweeb, and where my gender identity was questioned (by my parents!) because, in my senior year, I fell in love with . . . poetry.  Now, in old age, with a workable faith, and facing the possibility that I am on the last segment of life, I am content with my past because it has been answered by time's slow, but very positive, developments.

Starward