I feel like I am slipping.

Things are getting harder.

its darker and I feel like I am dimmer.

Just sick of the same old.

I am never getting ahaead.

only breaking even.


I am afraid of this next month.

Febuary is the lonilest of all.

Every year this next month goes terribly wrong.

from rehab, hospitals, psych wards. Death. and isolation.

It always happen in this one month. every year something deifferant.

I feel as if every year it is slowly killing me.

a bit scary becuase I feel I can be a bit crazy.

I just hope this one will breeze by.

But I know it wont. I will struggle all the way until next june.

so I am going to sleep now.

I hope I dont wake up soon. 

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