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I’m lost at sea

I don’t want to face what is happening to me

It is difficult to be motivated when the world is ending

Everyone’s skipping to their graves

But I’m not one for pretending

Done looking for the sun and my nights have no moon

Blindly running in the dark

This steep cliff I’ll fall off soon

Waiting for my castle to be brutally overthrown

Worries grow stronger due to the dark unknown

The hopeful part of me that forever used to be

I yearn so much for him to return

He's no longer here, long ago disappeared

Yet I’ve got an abundance of gloom and fear

It is impossible to be motivated in a world that’s ending

This woeful human race is not worth saving

I want so badly to have a new view

Yet reality doesn’t change, so there’s nothing I can do

Sitting in my crumbling castle; this onslaught I cannot fend

A grand party on the Titanic; we're at our end

I’m lost at sea

I don’t want to face what is happening to me

It whispers that it will make all my concerns let me be

But by listening and giving in I'm just losing me

Pretending it’s my friend

But in the end it will be my end

Pretending help it can lend

But in the end it will be my end

How much further can I sink?

How much further until I’m at the brink?

Drowning in red, it wishes me dead

Pretending it’s my friend

To the grave me it will send

Causing my mind to slowly rust

Turning my soul to forgotten dust

I’m lost at sea

I'm losing me

I do not know the time or day

I give in and hide myself away

Let the bloated corpses eat themselves and inside I stay

I do not care about the time or day

If the purpose of life is truly to survive

Then there is no true point in being alive

The hopeful person that I wish still remained

I yearn so for this person to regain

He’s no longer here; he will never reappear

Now possessed by familiar gloom and draining fear

Staring at me with hollow eyes from inside

This fiend in my nightmares that from I hide

Looking for me on these forgotten country roads

Looking for me in these wretched rotting homes

Around my neck its icy hand does wrap

Dragging me to the dreadful field of collapse

In this frozen field I now lay

In this frozen field there is no play

In this frozen field I am taken over by dismay

All dismay and no play makes me begin to decay

I’m caught in my own trap

Unable to move, rotting on this field of collapse

I’m lost at sea

I don’t want to feel what is inside me

Lost at sea

Lost in worry

Lost at sea

I’m losing me

Lost at sea

Lost in endless worry

Lost at sea

Pointlessly try to drown this hideous enemy

Avoidance of this torture device, anxiety 

This fiend will not die

This fiend sucks my heart to survive

The part of you in haunted memories

That part of you now lives inside of me

Lost at sea

I’m drowning me

By Adam Keith McElwain

Copyright Adam Keith McElwain Poetry