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My long lasting dream 

Everyday I think of murder 

Cause of the frustration that burns In me 

I think of important loses I've had 

I think back into my past and I wonder where did it go wrong 

I blame myself at times 

The state of depression hovers over me when this happens 

But only for a minute than my mind relapse back to the thoughts of murder and how I can't escape this damaged mind of mines 

How I am trapped forever in a state of conviction 

How I at times blame my mother for mishaps 

How at times I feel that their is not enough love for me n my fathers heart 

How I lay dead n my room with since of boredom and a deprivation of freedom lingers me to sleep 

But once as I rise again the thought of a tremendous amount of blood shed Captures my mind again 

But it's not about anyone that I live with the thoughts of murders are thoughts of suicide 

That rages through me on and on but their are no attempts theirs only thoughts and dreams but the dreams and thoughts are so real at times that I wake up and I check my skin for the cuts or the gun shot wounds that I have placed  upon my self in my dream and lately I wake crying as well cause of the thoughts that one day I will be abandoned forever and I will have no one to care for the me the dream that reoccurs over and is the dream that my dad will just leave me alone in this cruel and hateful world that he will disown me and will never have anything else to with me again I'll cried continuously because of this dreadful nightmare and everyday it seem like it becomes real that it is being injected into my life and it sickens and depresses me as I slowly wait for that to arrive cause when that day arrive it will be the day that my murderous dream become a reality and joyful laughs and smile from Caleb Omari Ce'onte Bennett will be no more and ik that when I dead and gone that both of my parents and all of my siblings will truly be happy cause their will be no remembrance of me that they all will dance around my grave and sing songs of grace and passion they will feel no sorrow they will know no pain for the boy that lost his life to a hared dream that became a devastating reality that they will not know of me as love and smile but only of hatred and greed that only anger filled my heart but they will be wrong they will know that the lies they so know to be true we're corrupted only my father will know that my heart was full of joy and happiness but so deeply I'm bared with hate for the wrong my heart has been broken and refined over and over but what broken can never be fully refined if can never return to the state it was at first .

By:Caleb Omari Ce'onte Bennett