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words were left unread
Folder:
whole lotta other stuff wandering in the night
shrouded from the moonlight
with the longing for always
and the fear of being a slave to the daily grind
to a life where each moment is dying by design
to the old patterns of deadly nightshade
wherever that will lead
wanting only to write and read
and unable to lay down against the need
as if it were the outline of longing
as if it were the gravestone
and onto that last second
like a poem on faded paper
where the ink gets stained
from the border of tears that remained
more wounded than healed
while my words were left unread
I read two poems
Yesterday morning and this poem
Coincided with Sweetwaters poem
And captured my feelings of the overnite.
KS
You have some good "one line
You have some good "one line images" in this poem, although some are extremely trite, e.g. daily grind, by design, write and read (read and write - no difference). This leads to a choppy rhyming pattern that ends with no rhyme at all. The ending becoming two of the best lines, "more wounded than healed - while my words were left unread." Those along with the other unrhymed lines, "as if it were the outline of longing - as if it were the gravestone - and unto that last second - like a poem on faded paper - where the ink gets stained - from the border of tears ..." POWERFUL! Thus I think it is currently in the right folder, "whole lotta other stuff," - that honestly - does not belong in a poem with this much potential.