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Three Gourds of Wrath
Three Gourds of Wrath
It started off as a day like any other for the animals of the forest. Everyone rose with the sunrise, awakened by the bright summer morning and the piercing shriek of a rooster that never had quite payed attention in his singing lessons. All the animals of the forest were minding their own business: The crow tended to her store, the hedgehog cooked for his family, and the fox dismissed his parents' subtle suggestions that he should get a job and move out of the house. Everything indicated it would be another perfectly normal morning until suddenly the sky turned red and the clouds parted right above the massive carrot fields of Lord Rabbiton's estate and a chorus of booming diabolical voices said in unison
"Dwellers of the forest, we are your gods–"
To this, the owl, wisest of all the forest animals exclaimed "that cannot be, that's impossible! But I have spent much time deep in thought and came to the conclusion that there is no god. hasn't anyone of you read Nietszche?" An so, the Owl, wisest of all the forest animals was promptly transformed by a swift bolt of lightning into wisest of all the forest's roast poultry. And the voices went on:
"We are your gods. We reveal ourselves to demand of you what is due. A fortnight from today, at precisely 6:28 pm, not a minute early and not a minute late, you shall present to us your offerings. You shall take your three best gourds of this season and in them you shall present your offering. In the first you shall put nuggets of gold. The second you shall fill with many gems and diamonds. The last gourd shall contain all the objects which are most dear two all of you. The three gourds you shall deposit at the pond east of here at the time and date that we have ordered. If you follow not our instructions precisely we shall unleash upon you wraths contained since time immemorial."
After this terrifying experience, all the animals of the forest ran to their homes and hid. The crow closed her shop and barred the doors. The hedgehog crawled into a hole and the fox's parents were suddenly happy to have their son with them. Lord Rabbiton hired a team of 17 of the most ferocious animals he could find to keep guard around his mansion all day and all night long. The forest dwellers hid like that for 3 days and started coming out as they progressively ran out of food. The animals, starving and afraid, decided to go over to Lord Rabbiton's mansion and ask for asylum, which was generously granted. By the end of the week, everyone slept under Rabbiton's roof and the town was growing restless for a plan. The crow brought over her three finest gourds and they calculated that they would have to sell all of their belongings to be able to purchase from the dwarves the amount of gold and gems asked by the voices in the sky. Through the course of the next week, the crow sold her shop, the foxes their house, and Lord Rabbiton transferred the deeds of his estate to the king of the dwarves. Officially they had no possessions other that the furs on their backs and a few trinkets of great sentimental value that they had saved with the purpose of filling the third gourd. All the animals made a line and they let go of their most valuable objects.
Finally the three gourds were all filled. The animals headed to the pond where they were supposed to make their offering and started waiting for the exact time of the offering to come. Everyone looked at each other with anticipation, as if waiting for someone else to give the order and throw the gourds that had cost them so much into the pond. The timing had to be precise or everyone would suffer the wrath of the voices. An hour had passed when Lord Rabbiton finally broke the silence: "Oh my, I've only just realised that none of us seem to have a watch".
And so the world did burn.
