Waiting Forever

I want not to love you

But I can do nothing but think of you

I don't know why I'm in such denial

When your the only one who makes me smile

And breaking our connection is quite impossible

When every time my phone starts to ring

My heart goes to sing

But if it's not you I'm disappointed

Because your the only discussion I wanted

Each day I pray I could be perfect for you

But my imperfection sets me free

And I'm sad because being perfect is something I cannot do

I want to be wrapped in; so lost in your soul

That you can see and feel my fears

But how is that possible

When we can't touch, hug or see

Then for my heart there is no glee

And although I wish you were all I want you to be

You can't

Because I need you here so badly you'll never know

But I'm thinking of closing the door

Because it's wide open

Ready to be slammed in my face

And another heart ache my heart cannot take

You are so far, so near

So in-between

So dirty, So sacred

So beautiful, So unclean

I love you

I hate you

I fear you

I'm scared

Because your the only person I know who cares

I miss you

I don't know you

Yet you are my world

I hold you in my heart

For fear of interference

And I squeeze you so tight

I'm fighting a battle I cannot win

It's whether to call this crazy and just give up

Or to go with my heart and just hope and trust

That everything will be good and we'll be together

But I don't know

I feel like I'll be waiting forever.

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