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I just don't get how I can feel this way,

I know it's fucked up, but what can I say?

Those hidden faces suddenly start to show,

then it is realized that life's not such a rainbow.



Betrayel is the worse kind of torture;

but that doesn't stop it, so much pain to indure.

I miss the way we used to feel,

when you were there & things felt so unreal.

Those good memories we both shared,

& that feeling that you genuinely cared.



No one can truly care for me;

I'm a non-loveable person, can't you see?

I haven't shed these tears of pain in so long.

Evidently, as always, I did everything wrong.

Should have never thought it would last,

everything I love is taken away so fast.



I still seem to fucking care, I don't know why.

I'd rather stop feeling & just die.

Every god damn thing reminds me of you,

this is nothing new.

Then you have the balls to make me feel worse,

over & over... my heart just bursts.

I may seem tough... & I may be ugly,

but I have a heart. Just look at me!



Never trust anyone that will make you feel low,

that's the only dark, cold path you should go.

Being alone & numb is not that bad,

not at all when it's the only thing you've ever had.



You crushed my heart & sucked out all of the blood.

You did as much to kill me as you possibly could.

I wish I could just stop all these feelings,

that's the only way of ever truly healing.



There is no way of showing the love...

that I had & still do for you & everything above.

I just want you to fuck off;

but then again, it was my loss.



I was never meant to be happy,

I am meant to shut up & just be.

God dammit! I keep changing my feelings for you.



When I talk to you,

I want to say this all.

But then you just hit me again & down I fall.