Never Understand

People see my arms and ask me why,

They wonder what's wrong when they see me cry,

Thinking it's not that bad they ask me to stop,

I tell them to get over it and hand me a mop,

Mopping up today's pains,

Clean real good but leave behind stains,

They ask me how I ended up this way,

Never will I tell them the truth so I say,

"You will never understand"

They say "Trust me," as they lend me their hand,

I shrug off they're arm off my shoulder,

Walking away with the pain from this large boulder,

Thinking they don't get it and I know they don't,

Insisting they will but I know they won't,

Because I wake up worrying if I'm going to see my rapist today,

Before I walk out that door I pray,

When I see him everything comes screaming back,

Seeing how happy he is makes my brain want to crack,

Everyday I see my rapist and think,

Millions of suicidal thoughts in just one eye blink,

Unwillingly taking my ass for a tap,

Wanting to scream and can't help but to snap,

I awoke this morning and saw my rapist today,

I'd like to see you fear that every damn day,

Hoping he's not there but he always is,

Hoping he's not there but he always is...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My rapist lives across the street and goes to school with me;he's in my lunch and in one of my classes;I see him in the hallway,I see him in the cafeteria,and I see him in the classroom.He smiles and lives life like nothing happened and he pretends to feel guilty for what he did.I know very well he isn't sorry,and I have to deal with this fucking bullshit every damn day,so get over the fact that I'm a fucking cutter.

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