When You Left, You Didnt Leave Unicorn Shit Behind

When I try to connect
The moment is fleeting
I try to disconnect
And yet the moment remains
Flashing before my eyes
Haunting my dreams
Included psychosis
Not everything is as it seems

 

A paralyzed mind
A broken heart to boot
I never thought I'd watch my life
Go down the chute
And here I stand on this Earth
Walking alone, dieing inside
The tears unbearable, difficult to hide
The weight almost crushing
I cant stand on my own
But now I walk this Earth
Sad, desperate, and alone

 

The day you left I cannot bear
The life you put on me
Its not fucking fair
While tears roll down my cheeks
My mind becomes so bleak
Uninterested and not swayed
Your absence leaves me dismayed
Angry and confused
A love that we both abused

 

I wish I couldve been different
Maybe loved you a little more
Would that have really changed things?
Would it have settled the score?
You begged for a love that I did not give
Now with this burden, I have to live
The rest of my days in a life without you
Is this what it all comes down to?

 

No choice but to press on
To live in this shit while youre gone
But when you saw your life was in dismay
Why did you choose not to stay?
We create the lives we live through our choices
Instead you listened to all the other voices
Acted like an angel, growing ever bolder
Walking around with the devils hand on your shoulder

 

I cant believe this is my reality
Living a life of duality
Disconnected from who I am
Not like you give a good God damn
So wheres the hand to set me free?
To take me to the place where you are
Where I want to be
I know this all sounds crazy
But what can I say?
Lately my minds been hazy

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written for my fiance Jen, and the effects her death has had since she passed away.

RIP Babylove 3-10-21

I love you, forever and always

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