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Crowded by Torture
I’m not ready to socialize and be part of the crowd.
They all seem to be having fun and I do not want to have to put up a facade.
I’d rather be alone, thinking here by myself.
Not having to deal with all of the merriment
while all the while feeling like I am just sitting there torturing myself.
Living out the day just trying to get by,
wondering when it is going to be over.
When can I leave this horror I got myself into,
the smiling happy person that I not really am.
Feeling dumb while having to look like life is perfect and nothing is wrong.
I do not want to put myself through that again.
Instead I just sit here pretending it is not happening.
Shutting out the laughter and the happiness I hear.
Wanting to find comfort but not knowing where.
